


a thief in our midst

by mirocthound



Series: how to be human again: a step by step process (re: revenant drabbles) [1]
Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Canon Non-Binary Character, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Oreos, This Is STUPID, bloodhound has a sweet tooth and thats straight facts, bloodhound is a thief, hound face hc, just a little bit, revenant is learning how to chill tf out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:21:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23091751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirocthound/pseuds/mirocthound
Summary: of all the things that revenant had witnessed, shrouded in the darkness of night... this certainly was one of the most memorable.
Series: how to be human again: a step by step process (re: revenant drabbles) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1659670
Comments: 14
Kudos: 103





	a thief in our midst

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at 1am on a work night. enjoy.

“Ah. I did not realize anyone else would be awake at this hour.” The stranger said, appearing to be mildly surprised. Revenant just stared at them, unmoving, taking in the sight before him.   
  
The simulacra had been alerted by the sound of the fridge, all the way down the hall and in the kitchen, being cracked open. He’d been in his room, trying to power down. He hadn’t done so in years-- not since his abrupt awakening 25 years prior. Pathfinder had heard of this, and had been babbling about the benefits of offline time nonstop during the battle today. He’d sneered at the suggestion, and yet, tonight, he figured he had nothing better to do then at least try.   
  
He was familiar with the sound of legends lurking through the kitchen after hours. Bothered by it, even, because it was usually the skinsuits sneaking a late night snack… like the trickster who didn’t know how to stop his constant word vomiting both inside and outside the ring, or even worse-- the impossibly irritating, green haired adrenaline junkie, who didn’t understand the concept of ‘low volume’.   
  
What was different this time, however, was that he had not heard the creak of a door opening, or the shuffle of footsteps. No, the building had remained completely silent, until there was the telltale sound of the refrigerator being pulled open, and the gentle shuffling of someone rooting through its contents. Then, the creak of the pantry being searched as well. He didn’t understand how anyone could’ve slipped past his detection.   
  
When he slunk down the hallway, concealed by shadows, he expected one of the two usual culprits. He was somewhat curious at how one of them found a way to move so quietly-- since quiet was not a concept either of them were familiar with.

Instead, he was greeted by a frizzy-headed visitor. They looked somewhat imposing, and yet completely harmless at the same time. Their features were marred with scarring, depicting plenty of experience in a hardened lifestyle… However, their oversized comfy pajamas, bare feet and relaxed posture almost made them seem like they posed no direct threat. The two stared at each other, stuck in a stalemate. Neither decided to make the first move.   
  
He didn’t believe it was actually possible for someone to break into the Apex Living Compound. Whoever this was, they had to be highly trained and incredibly sly, in order to get into the private living quarters of the, arguably, most famous warriors in all the Outlands. In a way, he was impressed. The security surrounding the building was the most forward tech in _existence_. There were guards posted at every entrance, the stairs and elevators were all locked and passcode protected. It must’ve taken a great deal of tech, planning, and skill to get here. 

Not to mention the part where every single person living here was more than capable of both detecting and… _disposing of_ an intruder.   
  
Himself included.   
  
However, this person did not seem bothered by his presence. If anything, they seemed indifferent. He would’ve just snapped the tresspasser’s neck and been done with the ordeal, if he weren’t so _genuinely intrigued_. What kind of person broke into the compound where the Apex Legends lived, be completely unfazed when in the presence of a known assassin, only to waltz into the kitchen and take a handful of--

“Are those Oreos?” He found himself asking in disbelief, his voice rough and gravely.   
  
They just stared at him, unnerved, as they shoved three of the cookies into their mouth at once. 

Then they nodded.   
  


He stood in absolute awe, staring them down as they chewed, until they swallowed the thick mouthful of crumbly chocolate and frosting. “I believe they belong to Mirage. Ah-- well, _belonged_ .” They lifted the package of cookies, giving it a lighthearted shake of victory, before tucking it under their arm.   
  
The room fell silent again. They stuffed a final cookie into their mouth, before dusting their fingers off on their sweats.   
  
“Well then. Until we meet in the ring, félagi.” They offered an eerily familiar one handed salute. They clicked their tongue, and like an inky mass melting from the shadows, a large-- yet very distinguishable avian descended from it’s hidden perch on top of the fridge, settling comfortably on their shoulder. It craned its neck, nipping at the plastic of the packaging. They scolded the bird gently, and casually just walked (Oreos in tow), around the break room table, slipped past the confused and somewhat buffering simulacra, and disappeared down the hall.   
  
Revenant slowly turned, watching as they paused before a doorway at the very end, quickly tapped in a passcode, and stepped inside. The door closed behind them with a muted ‘swish’   
  
Their footsteps had not made a single sound. 

* * *

  
With the next morning came another game, and the legends were all filled into the dropship, one by one. Revenant usually paid no attention to whatever mindless chatter the skinsuits engaged in, but a certain annoyed whining caught his attention.   
  
“Dude, it happened _again!!”_   
  


It was Mirage, and he looked absolutely torn-- as if he’d suffered some great loss.   
  
“It’s your own fault. Just keep them in your room, if it bothers you that much.” Wraith replied coolly, and Elliott scoffed, seemingly appalled by her statement. “A-Are you serious?! _My_ fault?! Doesn’t it bother you that we have a-- a _thief_ in our midst?! Whichever one of you bastards keeps stealing my Oreos-- I swear, I’m going to hunt you down! It’s not funny!!”   
  
His serious tone only made it harder for the fellow legends to take him seriously. Gibraltar was just shaking his head, grinning, and Anita crossed her arms, chuckling as she leaned back in her seat.   
  
“I-- I’m serious!! Guys!! You’re all a bunch of traitors!!” The trickster babbled, clearly in distress.   
  
Revenant couldn’t help but let his gaze wander, amidst all the chaos, to the corner of the dropship, where a familiar masked figure was leaning against the wall. Artur croaked and shuffled from her perch on their shoulder. He couldn’t tell if they were looking at him, since their frosted lenses hid their eyes completely, but they were facing his direction.   
  
As if they somehow read his thoughts, Bloodhound lifted a single hand-- holding their index finger to the front of their mouthpiece. Asking him for secrecy.   
  
The simulacra just stared at them for a very long time, before he looked down towards his feet.   
  
Despite Elliott’s squalls… it _was_ somewhat amusing, he supposed.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, leave comments. 
> 
> they feed me.


End file.
